About You/Me

                                                 About You

     You are an amazing, top-of-the-line, glow-in-the dark, stupendously awesome in just about every way person. You're ice cream, pizza, Silly Putty, superheroes, 100 hours of recess, and the all-time high score on your favorite video game all rolled into in one. Plus you have shockingly good taste--you are here after all. Last but not least, God loves you very much.

     Other than that, I assume you already know all about you, so I'm going to go on to the part about me now.


                                                   About Me

     The person I call me, Jonathan Schkade (pronounced "Skah-dee," rhymes with "body"), at least halfway grew up  in northern Texas. Now I live in Jefferson City, MO, with my sparkling wife, Kristi, and my two sweet daughters. Despite my best efforts, I graduated from Concordia University in Seward, Nebraska, with a degree in elementary education and a major in procrastination (putting things off).

     Concordia Publishing House (CPH) has published a bunch of my books, including Not-So-Nice Bible Stories: Master Criminals (2017); The Love Bridge (2017); Not-So-Nice Bible Stories: Gory Deaths (2016); and Icky Sticky, Hairy Scary Bible Stories (2011). In addition, I've written for CPH's day school religion curriculum, Happy Times magazine, My Devotions, Concordia Pulpit Resources, and Portals of Prayer. While getting myself into and out of messes in books fills up most of my time, I also love singing in my church's choir, eating tater tots, playing as many board games as possible, and daydreaming for fun and profit. I'm a grateful member of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI).

     Okay, as it says in Proverbs 25:27, Too much junk food makes you sick, and bragging about how great you are makes other people sick of you, so, instead of going on for a hundred more pages, I'll simply end here with a few random facts about me:

     I . . .

     * . . . have never eaten a worm, except for the gummy kind.

     * . . . think Xerxes is an awesome name.

     * . . . can recite the books of the Bible in order in under 25 seconds.

     * . . . prefer peanut butter and honey sandwiches to peanut butter and jelly. But I like peanut butter, molasses, and banana even more. Yum! (My mom's just weird though--she enjoys peanut butter and olive sandwiches. Gross!)

     * . . . thought it was funny in 4th grade to sing everything with silly accents during music class. (But never, ever did I do it during church!)

     * . . . would rather watch cartoons than the news.

     * . . . like tomatoes but hate tomato juice, and hate cranberries but like cranberry juice.

     * . . . write hymns for fun.

    * . . . have never ridden a roller coaster. I like things slow, and bumper cars are way better.

     * . . . believe that few things smell as good as skunks. Whenever I drive or walk past skunk smell, I just smile. (For real.)

     * . . . am blown away by people who create fabulous artwork, and I love making art myself. 

     * . . . like The Voyage of the Dawn Treader better than any of the other Narnia books.

     * . . . sometimes read books upside down.

     * . . . think three of the best times to talk to God are on long walks; when I'm in dark, scary places; and whenever I'm tempted to waste time because I'm bored.

     * . . . actually like eating in school cafeterias--especially if they have monster-size chocolate chip cookies.

     * . . . didn't do whatever that person said I did, unless it was something really cool, in which case, I absolutely did whatever it was he or she said, but I did it twice as well and ten times as fast while hopping on one foot.  

Unless otherwise indicated, text is copyright © 2011, 2016, 2017 Jonathan Schkade. All rights reserved.